Cheap Food Slut
Maccaroni Trattoria Italiana: Manchester Lane, Melbourne CBD
Sorry if it kinda looks like munt on a plate but it’s actually Ossobuco Alla Milanese - or in short: perfection.
This cute little joint is where Coco Rice used to be (Indonesian place, it was yum but I’m guessing traffic was low?). Okay, quick points since I’m typing on my phone: homemade traditional Italian dishes, fresh pasta, friendly and knowledgeable Italian waiters, $5 coffee and cake deal, mains under $15 - this place only opened two weeks ago, totally snap it up and claim ‘Oh I found this place first’ among your mates! Visit them during your lunch break, they do takeaways as well and they’re super fast too.
The Ossobuco was cooked perfectly, fell off the bone and all that magic. Works well with the saffron risotto which was rich in flavour and fluffy, oh god I love fluffy risottos!
Definitely coming back to try their gnocchi!
Ikea Food: Ikea, Richmond
$5 dinner and also a potential cheap date spot is not usually synonymous with the word ‘Ikea’ - but you should totally start thinking about it. It’ll be a fast, cheap, and totally unique date. And you get to browse or even shop after. Bonus points if your date likes your choice in quilt cover - clear sign that she’s a keeper!
Treat them to a variety of Swedish classics like this bad boy right here, Schnitzel with chips, currently on special for $4.50 (50c extra with gravy - yum). And keep a look out for upcoming specials! They’re bringing out roast with mash soon, still just under a fiver. There’s salads for you disgusing vegetarians out there (kidding, but seriously, yuck). If you’re planning to SPLURGE - get a large serve of the meatballs. Frickin yum. Finish it off with a Daim cake. Oh. It’s gluten free ladies. Yep, I knew you’d scream. Grab the 109 and head down now for your fix.
ProTip: Sign up for Ikea Family membership on the nearby computers before grabbing your food. It’s free and you can use the temporary card for free ‘bottomless coffee’
Hello Food Sluts!
I apologize for the lack of updates.. my last post was almost nine months ago! University and general laziness are always in the way, however, I’ve got tons food porn that are screaming to be featured here - please stay tuned and I’ll start writing again very very soon! X
Kim Sing: Shop 10 Port Phillip Arcade, Melbourne CBD
This ‘very chinese’ establishment is so far the cheapest place I’ve ever been to in Melbourne. Most mains are only $6, typical Chinese street food, tasty and super fast. Most importantly, they have $4 VEGETARIAN FRIED RICE! OMG!
If you feel like the $4 dish lacks your daily dose of meat though, try your pocket and find 50 cents worth of extra coins to purchase the special or prawn fried rice. They’re not amazing, but they’re not horrible either, in my opinion, the fact that it’s so cheap adds to the flavor, RIIIIGHT?
I tried the prawn fried rice and it reminds me of how asian street food should taste (and be priced) like. The prawns were well cooked and it’s very filling. Other dishes that were shooting out of the kitchen looked gigantic for only $6 - something I will definitely try in the near future. However, don’t expect great customer service here. Maybe it’s something you’d sacrifice for such good cheap food. It is better if you read the menu before ordering, say it clearly, grab your chopsticks or spoon then head to you table, eat, and then go. Kim Sing is always busy on lunch hours, but waiting for your food wouldn’t even be a possible obstacle.
Totally recommending the shit out of this place to every cheapfoodslut I know, or don’t, or whatever. Also, a tip, try the (possibly homemade?) chili jars served on the plastic tables. Go on, you’ll like it.
Menya: 437 Elizabeth St, Melbourne CBD
So this is another brainchild of O-Bento I think, the sister branch of the tiny Menya Ramen in that laneway entering Melbourne Central. I used to live around there and I’ve gotta say, Menya’s got some tough competitors. Before it opened on this particular strip of Elizabeth St (between Abeckett and Franklin St, to be exact), there were two eateries that caught my eyes, since it was very usual for them to have a fuckload of patrons lining up outside. Those two were Coconut House (who also opened a ‘Little Coconut House’ literally 3 shops away from its mothership) and Rose Garden. Sure, the origin of food is essentially different, but they are the absolute darlings of cheap asian food around this joint.
Menya’s interior is cute. That’s all I can think of right now. Tiny, blocky, japanese-y chairs and tables. What was even cuter is the thousands of sticker weed leaves on the glass door outside. Hm, maybe it’s not weed but it sure does look like one! Free, self-serve bottles of hot tea and jugs of cold water. Mind you, the water jugs are quite.. erm.. again, cute. I don’t know if it’s for decoration or there’s an actual taste or health reasons behind it, but in those jugs, you can find grapes, strawberries, thick slices of lemons and other green leafy shit (still not weed though, sigh). If you happen to pick up a jug that’s fully pimped out with those fruits then your water might just have a bit of a weird taste. Otherwise, I’m sure it’ll be fine.
The waitresses are cute too. They greet you with a super smile and a quick “howmanypeople?two?youcansithere!!!!!!!!”. Exactly, no spaces. A cool thing about Menya is the fact that we can see em cook our food in their kitchen. Gives me a bit of a ‘peace of mind’ knowing that’s it’s actually cooked, not microwaved.
So, the food. Right. It’s pretty cheapfoodslutty worthy to be honest. Starters ranges from $3-$6. Mains are below $14. They’re mostly typical Japanese rice bowls, think Gyu-Don or Katsu-Don, which is really overdone for me (that’s a lie, I was just not that hungry) - so we decided to try their small, cheap dishes instead.
First up was the Agedashi Tofu. It was pretty fucking ace. It’s well-cooked, filling, the sauce was rich, sweet and a bit sticky (yum!), and it was cheap as hell. I’m pretty sure it was under $4. I’m a faithful carnivore and this tofu kinda swayed me into thinking that I *could* apply vegetarian diet in my little asian life. That’s how good it was.
Next it was the okonomiyaki aka. japanese crazy pizza. What’s with the vegetarian dishes you said? Well, I was dining with Zia (our vegetarian cfs support critic) so there! Anyways. This thing is massive for a $4.20 dish. It was sizzling hot as they delivered it to our table and we couldn’t even finish it. Did we? Or didn’t we? There were a lot of vegetables involved in that crazy pizza. Like a vegetable rave. Strangely, I ate them without any complaints about them being too ‘vegetabley’. The sweet jap soy sauce combined with the mayo works really well on the okonomiyaki. It’s not overpowering and it’s totally perfect.
Now, I’ve always wanted to try a chawanmushi. They’re the little japanese egg custard bowl. Savoury btw. This one has a prawn in it! Extra points! Looks cute, cute, cute, too cute to eat. So I ordered one, and it took quite a while (this was a different visit, on a different, busier day). And when it arrived - shocker - it was half cold, half hot. Then the whole ‘microwaved food’ thing crossed my mind. Oh snap, they totally microwaved my chawanmushi! I tasted the hot side though, it was delicious. The egg custard is soft but defintely not bland. Flavours were alright. Yeah but the fact that they fucked it up still can’t be ignored. I returned the dish and got my money back. The little asian waitresses had a little fight with each other as I complained, aww - but keeping all smiles for me.
What’s the verdict? Well, I still think you guys should cheapfoodslut this place out. Do it. My friend recently had one of the main dishes (Chicken Curry Don) and from that little preview taste I know that gigantic bowl is totally worth it. Just make sure they’re not going to microwave your cute cheap food.
Chilli Padi: Melbourne Central, CBD
Alert: I did not enjoy my meal here. This place seemed popular with fellow students, especially Asian ones, who are probably hooked on the cheap ‘pan-Asian’ (that’s what Chilli Padi calls it) cuisine. It’s located right in the back, near Elizabeth St side of Melbourne Central, in a laneway, next to Max Brenner’s.
To be honest, this place is in within my perfect dollar range, but we’ve had a not so pleasant experience dining here, so I probably won’t visit them again. Service was really good though, our waitress was giving good responses to our questions and was friendly and polite. One thing I would say that’s good about this place is their dinner entree. Written on the menu as ‘Eggplant chips with chili mayo and yukari salt’, and sitting at the $5.9 price mark, this dish is quite tasty. I’ve never majorly liked eggplant, but these chips were awesome. They’re well battered and very crispy on the outside. The chili mayo is also a good dipping sauce. The other entree we got was the finger food platter, also at $5.9. It was decent, nothing really special.
A note to vegetarians, maybe you should think twice about coming here. Zia ordered a vegetarian pad thai, and what arrived was quite shocking. The pad thai looked normal, but it smelled.. meaty. She described it as ‘flavourless’ and that ‘it smelled like a dog’. So yeah. It did smell a bit off really.
I ordered the Indonesian Beef Rendang and what came was a very spicy oily curry, with pieces of beef that were very dry and hard to chew. Really disappointing. It tasted like it had been cooked days before, and wasn’t even properly microwaved since it’s hot and cold on different bites. Man, even though our dinner was on a ‘special deal’, meaning we get it for way cheaper, it’s still really not worth it.
Overall, this place might be slightly okay if you’re looking for somewhere central to have a bit of a snack in, and maybe I should try their other dishes since the reviews seem pretty decent… Hmm.. That’s if I really had to.
Minang Nasi Padang: Pelham St (off Swanston St), Carlton
So if you’re wondering what Indonesian food tastes like, Minang can give you an example. This is ridiculously good food for only $6.50! A full plate of rice, two selections of meat and one vegetable dish - omg, I know right, it’s incredible.
Minang is an ethnic group in around West Sumatra in Indonesia. The staple food in that area is usually rice, with a fried dish and most importantly, anything with coconut milk and chili. Minang or Padang people love their spices, which is why they’ve got lots of curry-based meat dishes that are quite spicy, but still delicious of course. So make sure you try one of the ‘Kare’ (curry).
They’ve got quite a few of things you can select from the ban marie, lots of meat and vegetable dishes, so no worries for you vegos out there, you can still cheapfoodslut this place. I’ve noticed a lot of people asks for ‘The Eggplant’, it’s quite popular, but I haven’t tried it yet. However, I managed to snag this lovely baby octopus in chili sauce - something I’ve never seen here before (since I visit Minang quite frequently now haha), it’s probably because it was the weekend? More customers = more awesome dishes? Who knows. The other dishes are the chicken curry and a ‘Perkedel’ (potato fritter) - I’m not too big on vegetables, as you all have noticed.
My $6.50 was very well spent. Sorry for the picture quality btw. The rice, may I just say, is seriously the best rice I’ve tasted in Melbourne. Oh uh, I’m serious. I can’t describe it in detail but as it travelled into my mouth, it just felt perfect. The baby octopus was nice and well cooked, but just a tad spicy for me (mind you even though I am Balinese, my tolerance for chili is quite embarrassingly a negative). Chicken was tender, juicy and awesomely seasoned, the curry sauce is yummy and mixes very well with the rice. Lastly, the potato fritter. Everyone should really try it. It’s quite crispy on the outside and the mashed potato just kinda melts, carrying all this awesome garlicy-infused-flavorbang into your system. Wow, what the fuck did I just write!
Anyways. Come here. Eat some food. Drink unlimited water (yeah it’s free here and you can do whatever you want with it) and be a cheap Indonesian for a day.
Royal Derby Hotel: 446 Brunswick St, Fitzroy
What is it with Fitzroy and quality $5 pizzas? This is another awesome place to go if you’re out around this area. The Royal Derby itself is a cozy hangout with awesome walls and furniture (I love the actual ‘bed’ that they have there tbh) and this pizza is so worth it!
If you like Bimbo Deluxe’s $5 pizzas, you’d probably like this one too. The difference is, Royal Derby’s crust is thicker, not thin and crispy like Bimbo’s - and, the price is valid everyday, but you gotta buy a drink first! Reasonable, huh, well, I thought so too.
This little munchkin is the Margarita, with tomato, fior di latte and fresh basil. Mmm, writing out the toppings makes me want that slice in and around my mouth again and again (something Maya always say). Anyways, it’s fresh, every bite is filled with flavour and it doesn’t make you feel gross after (cause you know that feeling, everytime you finish a whole pizza by your-greedy-self, you get ‘thaaaat feeling’, ah yes, guilt mixed with satisfaction and irony?)
I don’t even know what fior de latte is but I’m guessing it’s the nice melty cheese that made my life better as I bite into this darling? Let me google that. Right. Fuck, it’s just a fancy name for mozzarella (but instead of water buffalo milk, they used cow’s). And may I just say, those basil leaves were absolute sex. Sex. SEX. SEX!!! (Agreeing with Zia, of course)
So yeah, another sweeeet $5 pizza joint for my fellow cheapfoodsluts, get on it!
Saigon Noodle: University of Melbourne, Ground Floor Union House, Parkville campus
Melbourne Uni kids are spoiled with the cheap food choices available on campus. I’d write about them all but this one is clearly the winner in CFS points*
This badboy is huuuuge and it can be all yours for just $4.50! Are you amazed? I was too!
Best thing about it? The noodle soups are easily customised, you can literally pimp out your bowl! Well, not with those fluffy dice or a ‘fully sick subwoofa’ - I’m talking ingredients here.. (wow that was lame, but I can’t be fucked erasing it since I’m typing on le iphone)
SO. You can choose between egg or rice noodle; beef, tom yum or laksa soup base; and anything from crab balls to beancurd to top it off.
The $4.50 selections are all delicious and very filling but my absolute darling is the beef slices and crab balls with beef soup and rice noodles, phew that was long!
The only slightly bad thing about this place is the inconsistency of the meat portions. From what I’ve noticed (hah, since I basically live there!) depending on who is serving you and the time of the day, you’d always get different amounts of meat and/or balls. Like, peak hour lunch times would be the worst, because they’re all in a hurry and they wanna serve as many bowls as possible with minimal meat. But nearing closing hours, these Asian noodlegods are more relaxed (complete with the cheesy Asian pop in the background) and they’d give you some extra bits.
If you’re not around Melb Uni then.. sucks to be you! Haha! Well, just get on any tram leaving Swanston st, get off in front of the uni and hopefully someone will be nice enough to guide you to ‘that noodle place in Union House’ and you don’t even need to be a student to eat there!
(*CFS points are my own imaginary cheapfoodslut points. The higher, the cheaper/better/generally sluttier)
The Cupcake Bakery: Corner of Flinders Lane & Elizabeth St, Melbourne CBD
Oh God, I know I don’t usually post or even enjoy baked goods (as I am a devoted carnivore) but this one is too cute to dismiss! I’m sure you people have seen these little shops around - there are two other locations, Melbourne Central and Collins St.
They are $3.50 each, snacky but awesome with that afternoon coffee. I am a greedy girl but surprisingly, I can never finish a whole cupcake from this place (I eat them later on of course!), weird huh. It’s quite filling I suppose. The frosting is the yummiest bit, my favorite is choc peppermint and sometimes they’re too beautiful to be eaten.
I bought my mum a box of these cuties for her birthday and she was in tears (haha, exaggerating as always) but yeah they do gift wrapping and discounts for bulk buys, yay for that! (I’m guessing you cupcake abusers are yaying as well hmm?)
It’s a good hangout for you sugar chasers or just someone who wants something sweet to accompany their lonely lattes, awww…
Crossways: 123 Swanston St, Melbourne CBD
All you can eat for $5 sounds like a perfect home for cheapfoodsluts like myself. But does the food taste good? Well, if you love healthy vegetable curries with generous amounts of rice, topped with pappadums AND sweet, warm custardy explosions in the form of fruity ‘halava’ (aka. heaven, but that’s just my saying) - then… COME HERE! (plus, free flow of lassi, orange drinks and water are also available - just slutty perfect!)
Finding this gem would be a struggle for you kids who aren’t city hangers. But don’t fret! You can always google em! The way I remembered is that it’s the stairs next to Hi-Fi, across from the town hall - done.
So the curries and halavas are different everyday (a full menu list will be on the board or you can check their website here). I’ve only ever tried the chickpea subji, it’s amazing but I’m sure the rest of the collection will be worthy as well! As for halavas I think I’m already hooked on the cherry one. OM NOM NOM NOM!
Remember to bring your student card or concession card to maximise your slutting (if the kind servers genuinely do not think you resemble a typical student/health card owner/cheapfoodslut) or prepare to pay $6.50 instead (ooh $1.50 extra, ooh la la!)
Last but not least, I recommend you guys sit upstairs, there are more seats and a set of comfy sofas with an awesome shelf filled with Indian and Hindu-themed books. Also, I absolutely love the photos of the random Hindu gods hanging on the walls in Crossways, I always try and pick which one they are. So far I can recognize Krishna and Shiva but.. err.. okay back to food, so yeah, cheap cheap cheap yummy food for $5, Mondays through Saturdays, lunchtime until 2.30 pm!
Bimbo Deluxe: 376 Brunswick St, Fitzroy
All the cool kids know where the $4 pizzas are! I really don’t need to explain much further about this place. Everything about Bimbo is great. Fantastic. And most importantly, cheap.
It can be quite dark in here sometimes, and if you don’t like dark corners I suggest you take your pizza to the tables area. There’s comfy couches with freaky artsy wall ornaments and a pretty trippy, echoey cave on the ground floor. Now now, we all know I’m not good at describing things, seeing that my vocabulary is pretty limited but this place is so effortlessly cool, no doubt.
And the pizzas - oh you beauty. I think they’re only $4 for certain times though, check the website for more info so you won’t be disappointed when you get there. But hey, I wouldn’t mind paying more for quality stuff like this! There’s so many to choose from. My favorites are the lamb and rocket (if you wrap them up it can almost disguise itself as a souvlaki, haha), prosciutto (the one pictured), and chili prawns!
But honestly, any toppings can do you no harm, go crazy and order anything you (and your wallet) please. It’s hot, it’s fresh, it’s cheap, what more can you ask for? Bimbo Deluxe doesn’t need reviews - you best get off your computer and get on the 112 tram! Now!
Edelweiss Cafe: 203 Elizabeth St, Melbourne CBD
I’m struggling to find a good breakfast spot in the CBD - this place is alright, it’s not amazingly great, but it has a great location. You can sit on the outside area, looking precisely straight to the GPO, and with the hustle and bustle around you, this spot can be pretty sweet.
I ordered a chicken and avocado focaccia, I was expecting a freshly made one, but apparently they pre-packaged them and put them on the front fridge display. Dammit. At least I can get it toasted though. And it looks pretty ordinary. Almost like a school lunch sandwich even. It didn’t taste that good either, nothing special, and I don’t think it’s worth $7 or whatever amount I paid for it. Quite a letdown - perhaps I should try their other menu next time.
The chai latte was good though, they put in enough cinnamon, not too overpowering. I won’t come back for the focaccia but it’s a deal for the chai.
